The People in My Cell Phone

by Jill

Last night I was cleaning out my voicemail—there were 18 messages—and I came across not one but two messages from Pizza Hut. Yes, Pizza Hut. It was some crazy automated Pizza Hut guy who sounded like he just took some speed, telling me all about the AWESOME SPECIALS GOING ON RIGHT NOW! HURRY UP! DON’T MISS YOUR CHANCE FOR . . . blah blah blah. There was so much excitement in his voice, I sort of wanted to cry.
When did Pizza Hut start calling people on their cell phones? Twice in one night? And how on earth did they get my number? Derek’s always the one who calls to order, and we don’t even get Pizza Hut very often!
It was weird. Almost as weird as that time Puffy (or was he Diddy in ’04?) called and threatened my life if I did not get out and vote.